Stressful Times

Lately I have been so stressed that I can hardly function. Paying for our own wedding, looking at apartments, looking for a cheap honeymoon, trying to get in shape, looking for a steady job with health insurance, etc. etc. etc. I think the root of it all is that I haven't been focusing on my time with God as much as I usually do. It's SO stupid, I know. God IS peace. He is the only one who can give me a peace that passes all understanding, He is the only one who can provide for me and Ryan and He is the only one that can help us through this frustrating time. But I get so caught up in trying to get things done for the wedding and trying to lose weight, that I push aside the most important thing in my life and the only one that can make all of these things better. Today I finally had a day off of work, so I decided to get back on track. I had devotion time and repented to my Father for ignoring Him lately. There is no good excuse for that. We all have times like this though. When we feel like our lives are such a whirlwind that we get caught up in the things that DON'T MATTER. Yes, mine and Ryan's wedding day is going to be a day that we will all remember for the rest of our lives, but if our focus is on what decorations and food I will be having and not on who brought us together and created us for each other, then what good is a wedding? In my eyes, that would completely defeat the purpose of a wedding. A wedding is to show our families that we are devoted to each other and to God and we will be for the rest of our lives. If God is missing in there, then it's just a really expensive party. And that's not what I want it to be. I want God to be SHINING through me and Ryan on our wedding day. I want everyone to have no doubt that Ryan and I are going to live our lives for the Lord and that we will seek His will in everything that we do. That's how it ALWAYS should be. I just want to be real. I'm not going to put up a front and act like everything is fine and dandy. I'm not having very much fun planning the wedding. It's frustrating, it's time consuming, and it's sooo costly! But luckily, our marriage is more important than our wedding. I trust that God will make our wedding enjoyable. I trust that He will provide us with the money we need for our wedding, our honeymoon, and our apartment. And I trust that God will provide me with a job where He wants me to be and where He can use me for His glory. As for getting in shape... I doubt that's on the top of God's list for me, but I'm praying that I will be able to get into great shape for the wedding. I don't want to look back at our photographs disgusted with myself.
The joy of the Lord is my strength. That has always been my favorite verse. My name means joy and the Lord is always filling me with His joy to get me through these rough times. I do have some exciting things coming up. My mom should be having her baby, Wesley, next week. I'm SO excited for that! And Ryan and I are looking at our first apartment on Tuesday. It's a total dream apartment. If God provides me with the right job, we should be able to afford it. So please be praying that He blesses us with that. God is so good ALL THE TIME. He is good in these trials and He is good in the triumphs. I know He will prevail in the end, which is all that matters. He is my King, my Savior, my Alpha, my Omega, my Beginning, my End, my Father, my Lord, my Creator, my Redeemer, my EVERYTHING. He is worthy of ALL of my praise and ALL of my time and ALL of my energy and He always will be. He never changes. He is always there for me, waiting for me to run back into His arms so that He can protect me and provide for me and teach me new things. I love Him so dang much!!! I am so thankful to have Him in my life. My life would be WORTHLESS without him.